


O, Holey Night

by gwyllion



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-28 05:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwyllion/pseuds/gwyllion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written with my dear friend, heathyluv, for the Mitzvah Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	O, Holey Night

**Author's Note:**

> One of us writes RPS, the other writes a fic set in the 17th century- you do the math.

“I don’t wanna go, Jack,” Ennis groaned, dreading his physical that Jack started making him go to religiously each year for the past 4 years now. 

“Ennis, I made that appointment for you months ago! You’re goin! Do you have any idea how hard it was to get an appointment with this new doctor?”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing wrong with me! Don’t know why you insist on me goin to these stupid things year after year… waste of my time,” he grumbled. 

Jack laughed. “Stop bein such a damn baby! I know there’s nothing wrong with you, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Christ, come on, Jack… can’t we do it after Christmas? Huh? I’ll go Christmas shoppin with you instead. What do ya say?” Ennis asked, with a goofy grin.

“No way, I don’t know what’s worse, takin your ass to the doctor or Christmas shopping with you.”

“Aw, come on… I’ll be good, I swear.”

“No, Ennis! I’m takin you to your appointment and that’s that! Now, go get dressed! We’ve got to leave in five minutes.”

Ennis sighed then grunted, and slowly walked upstairs to dress. 

“JACK!” Ennis yelled from upstairs. 

“WHAT?!” 

“I ain’t got no underwear!” 

Jack let out a belly laugh. He is completely…completely hopeless…

Jack entered the bedroom and found Ennis rummaging through his top drawer. 

“What do you mean you have no underwear?!” Jack asked, shoving Ennis aside, and began investigating the drawer himself. 

“I don’t!”

“Well, what about…” Jack stopped mid-sentence holding up a pair with two big holes in the ass. He then grabbed another pair, one big hole…then another with three small holes and one gross lookin stain…

“Jesus, Ennis! Are they all like this?!” 

“Yup.” Ennis said, smiling ear to ear. 

“Why you sittin there acting all proud?! Christ, a homeless man probably has cleaner underwear than you! Put on a pair of mine, then”

“No way! Your underwear are those…little briefy thingys, no way I’m gonna be caught dead in those!”

“Well, it’s either a pair of mine, yours or you go commando, it’s your choice!”

“How about I just don’t go? Hmm?”

“Nope, not an option, now put on a pair of mine and let’s go!”

“But, Jack…they…”

“Ennis! Now!”

Ennis reluctantly put on a pair of Jack’s black Calvin Klein bikinis and slumped himself back onto the bed.”

Jack laughed. “You know, you are acting like a little bratty kid, you always get like this the day of your appointment!”

“I hate the doctor, Jack, and I hate these stupid underwear…”

“Come on, get your cute, little ass into the car.”  
_________________________________________________________

“Ennis Del mar? the nurse asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s me…”

“Bye, Cowboy…have fun…,” Jack teased. 

Ennis entered the room and took a seat on the cold examining table. 

“Ok, Ennis just undress from the waist up, leaving your underwear on, of course, and I’ll be back in a jiff!” the nurse said cheerfully, handing him the dreaded gown…

Ennis slowly undressed and stared at Jack’s tiny underwear that barely fit him…How the hell does he wear these? I look so friggin stupid in these! Stupid doctor’s appointment…stupid underwear…

He adjusted himself before tying the gown’s laces behind his neck, looked around for a magazine and settled on Men’s Health before planting his butt on the exam table again.

What the hell time is it? Friggin doctors, always keepin folks waitin. He thumbed through the pages of the magazine, shifting into the light get a better look at some of the more interesting pictures. 

Jesus Christ! Since when have magazines put pictures like this in them? Look at that guy! Must be the steroids. 

There was a knock on the door. He quickly flung the magazine back onto the counter, swinging his bare feet back and forth below the exam table.

Uh, come in.” He thought he could hear giggling from the hallway, but only the doctor entered the room. The guy looked normal enough, glasses, bald head, white coat, stethoscope around his neck, smelled like antiseptic. 

“Mr. Del Mar?” he said, taking a moment to shake Ennis’s hand.

“Yep.”

“How are we doing today?”

I don’t know how he’s doing, but I’m fine. Just can’t wait to get this over with. “Uh, fine, doc.”

“Whoa! You seem a little tense.” He cupped a hand to his mouth and whispered, “Didn’t forget to wear clean underwear, did you?”

“Uh, no,” said Ennis, looking around nervously. How the hell did he know about the underwear?

“Relax! That was a joke, Mr. Del Mar. Just a little doctor/patient humor.”

“Huh, oh, I knew that,” Ennis said, wishing he was anywhere else but here. Oh, this is great, I got a real comedian for a doctor.

“I see from the ‘New Patient Questionnaire’ that you haven’t been to this practice before. Do you any health concerns that you would like to have addressed today,” the doctor asked as he listened to Ennis’s heart with the stethoscope.

Ennis wasn’t sure whether he should be answering or not while the doctor seemed to be so busy listening.

“How’s your hearing?” the doctor pulled away and removed the earbuds from his ears, returning the scope to his neck. 

“What?” asked Ennis.

“What?” asked the doctor.

“Huh?”

The doctor punched Ennis on the arm, “I’m just yanking your chain. So, how’s your sex life?”

Ennis turned three shades of red. Jesus H! Does this guy know no boundaries?

“I’m only asking you this as your physician.” The doctor pulled up the swiveling stool and sat. “As you probably know, when guys like us reach a certain age… well, it’s not like we’re nineteen years old anymore, if you know what I mean.”

Ennis wanted to crawl under the table. He wondered why Jack always had to get his way. Insisting that I have a physical! Just wait until I get that rodeo fuck-up home. Gonna give him a piece o my-

“Uh, my sex life is fine,” Ennis squirmed.

“That’s funny.”

Ennis gulped. “Uh, what’s so funny about it?” he was afraid to ask, but did anyway.

“Most of the new patients I see here are after one thing, and one thing only.”

“Uh… a check-up?”

“Nope, guess again.,” the doctor said, his voice serious.

“Jesus, I don’t know!”

“How about a prescription?”

“Like, for drugs.”

“That’s right! That’s usually what prescriptions are for… Do you know what kind of drugs I mean, Mr. Del Mar?”

“Uh, no.”

“I’ll give you a hint, it starts with a ‘V.’”

“Uh, Vicodin?”

“Nope.”

“I don’t know!”

“Mr. Del Mar, you are in perfect health,” the doctor said as he scribbled on the prescription tablet. 

“I am?”

“Here’s what you’re after,” he tore the slip of paper off and handed it to Ennis.

Viagra? Ennis shrugged. 

“Have a great time with the ladies, stud!” the doctor said, sliding the stool back and turning toward the door. “And don’t forget to stop at the desk on your way out with your copayment.”  
______________________________________________

“So, how’d it go?” 

“Good, I guess, I don’t know…,” Ennis mumbled as he slumped into the front seat of the car. 

“Well, what did the doctor say?” asked Jack with a smirk on his face. 

“I don’t know…he was askin me all kinds a weird stuff, Jack.”

“Like what?”

“Well for one, he joked about my underwear!” 

“What?!”

“Yeah, asked if they were clean. Then he asked ‘bout my sex life, what kinda shit is that?!” Ennis asked dumbfounded. 

“So, did he…prescribe anything to you?” Jack asked, tryin to keep a straight face. 

“As a matter of fact he did, here, I got the script right here…says…V..IAGRA? What in the hell is this, Jack?”

“Well, Ennis…when a man hits a certain age, sometimes…he needs a little help risin to the occasion, if ya know what I mean,” Jack replied grinning.

“What in the hell are you talkin ‘bout, Twist?! You sent to me some dick doctor?! There ain’t nuthin wrong with my equipment, except for the fact that it’s suffocatin in these damn tiny drawers of yours!”

“Oh calm down, Ennis! I never said nuthin was wrong with you equipment, it’s just good to establish a good relationship with a “dick doc” so maybe when there is a problem…” 

“Shut up, Twist!” Ennis barked.  
______________________________________________

The minute they entered the house Ennis scrambled out of his jeans, wantin to get out of Jack’s grape smotherers in a flash. 

“Mmm…Mr. Delmar…you look mighty fine in that banana hammock…,” Jack chuckled givin Ennis a good smack on the ass.

“A what? A banan…Oh for Christ sakes…”

“You do, Cowboy…”

“Is that so?” Ennis smirked, wiggling his little behind.

“Hmm…what’s goin on down there, Ennis? Things getting a little “tight” fittin?”

“Damn straight it is, Twist. I don’t need no blue pills for that…”

“Prove it.”

“Get your ass over here, Twist…,” Ennis growled.

Jack approached Ennis, and slid his hand between his legs. “Mmm…you sure are filling out my knickers nicely…”

Ennis attacked Jack’s mouth, then suddenly shoved him away. 

“Take off your jeans, Twist. Let me see you if you’re fillin out your underwear just as well as I am…”

Jack quickly removed his pants. 

“Hell yeah, I fill these bad boys out,” he said groping himself. 

“Mmm…you sure do, now lose ‘em.”

“You first, Del Mar.”

Ennis quickly dropped trou, his dick bounced up like a damn spring board.

“Jesus, Ennis…,” Jack purred, ditching his drawers as well. 

“What was it you said about me needin some blue pills?” Ennis murmured and licked his neck. 

“Ah…yeah…pills…wha what?” Jack stuttered under Ennis’s spell. 

“Get up stairs, Twist. Viagra my ass…”  
_______________________________________ 

Ennis lit a cigarette and snuggled back down into Jack’s arms. 

“You always get that goofy look on your face after we fuck, ya know that?” Jack commented chuckling. 

“What? Well, I like when we fuck…OK fine, I’ll make this face afterwards from now on then,” Ennis replied with a stupid smile, crossing his eyes. 

Jack burst out laughing. “You’re such a jackass, you really are!” 

“Yup.” 

“So, have you thought about what your gonna do for a charitable donation this year for the holidays?” 

“I’ve gotta a idea, you?” 

“Well, I was trying to think what it was I did last year…didn’t I donate to that battered women’s shelter? I can’t remember?”

“Yeah, think so.” 

“Hmm, I think this year I’m gonna do what I did a few years back and give to that homeless shelter in Cheyenne.”  
_________________________________________________ 

“Merry Christmas, darlin,” Ennis whispered as he awoke. 

Jack smiled and pulled the covers back up over both their bodies. Ennis nudged his nose into the nook of Jack’s neck. He always woke Jack up when he opened his eyes in the morning, never wantin to miss a single minute together… 

“Must you always wake me up when you get up? Hmm? Can’t you ever let me sleep in?” Jack teased. 

“Nu-uh, now get up and make me my Christmas breakfast,” Ennis chuckled, tickling Jack’s belly. 

“Alright! I’m up! I’m up!”  
_____________________________________________________ 

Jack always made a big breakfast for the two of them Christmas morning…he found it was a great way to shut Ennis the hell up and put him back to sleep for a few hours while Jack prepared for company later that day. 

“Here you go, Ennis,” Jack said, placing a big plate of bacon, eggs and hash browns in front of him. 

“Mmm! Hot damn! This is better than Christmas itself!” Ennis said drooling. 

Jack poured two cups of coffee, grabbed his plate and took a seat at the table as well. “Ennis, you’re gonna behave yourself today, right?” 

“Wha...what are you talkin ‘bout, I always behave myself,” Ennis muttered with his mouth full. 

Jack laughed. “You always get nervous and all bent out of shape even though it’s the same people we have over year after year.” 

“Do not.” 

“Do too!” 

“Shut up, Twist. Sooo, what ya get me for Christmas?” 

“You’ll have to wait.” 

“Stupid waiting…” 

Jack laughed and caressed his cheek. “Ya know, even if we could have kids, I couldn’t handle another one.” 

Ennis chucked and turned on the small TV on their kitchen table. 

“What are you doin?” Jack asked. 

“I wanna see what the weather is gonna be like today. They were talkin snow yesterday.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Ennis replied turning the volume down just a hair. 

“So Jack, did you end up donating to that shelter?” 

“Yeah, I did. I donated a ton of non perishable items and a nice chunk of change, anonymously of course. Hey, that’s our town and isn’t that the shelter just a couple blocks from here?” Jack asked suddenly looking at the TV, turning the volume up. 

“Well, talk about a donation!,” the news reporter began to say. “Folks, we’ve brought you a lot of heartwarming coverage here about people giving and donating during the holiday  
season, but this one takes the cake! Yesterday a VERY large clothing donation was donated to the Peak Wellness Center in Laramie. 

“What’s so strange about that, Barb?” asked the co anchor. 

“Well, the clothing was actually several packages of underwear! Black Calvin Klien briefs, to be exact!” she announced laughing. 

“ENNIS!” 

“Whut!” 

“ENNIS! Was that you?!” 

“Well, everyone needs underwear, don’t they? Besides, I ain’t never seen you so turned on seein me in those damn skimpy things, maybe it’ll help the homeless get a little lovin too…,” he replied raising his eyebrows. 

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?! Great, I’m in love with the anonymous underwear donator.” 

Ennis laughed. “Hey, Jack?” 

“What, you clown?” he replied still chuckling. 

“I love you, Merry Christmas.” 

“I love you too, darlin. Merry Christmas. Now, get upstairs and let me see what this donation is all about.”


End file.
